...My Mistake

When you engage in conversation with someone you don't know, seemingly normal comments can go awry when you least expect it.  

For instance, the question "when are you due" can be a dangerous one. If you receive this look, you'll know the answer. That person isn't pregnant. She's just fat. 

Or perhaps she's a man. Sometimes it's not clear.

When I cut my hair in fourth grade, my dad took me to work and one of his students said "Is this your son?" and her friend said, "that's a girl," which didn't stop her from saying, "HE'S SO CUTE!" 

While I appreciated that she found me adorable, I still wept quietly into my Spongebob t-shirt and asked Dad if we could go home. For some father-son bonding time. 

"Is this your [significant other]" can be a toughie too. Last night a comedian asked two people if they were married or dating. They were cousins, which is wrong in the eyes of Mark Zuckerberg. 

Moral of the story: stop speaking to people.  It's just too painful.